I have a confession to make. I am not strong. Not always. Not as strong as people think I am.
A friend recently said about me, "The author of this blog is one of the strongest and bravest people I know. I am proud to call her a friend." I was awed by the fact that she had gone to the trouble of sharing that sentiment and it was incredibly helpful to me on a day when it was all I could do to feed myself and my son. It reminded me that little things, a few kind words, can make a huge difference to someone. Thank-you friend.
That was a week ago, and despite being home with a sick child and feeling under the weather myself, I was coping. I was keeping it together. But then, last night happened. Despite being exhausted, I couldn't sleep: feet too cold, head too foggy and dizzy, body aching from head to toe, worst-case scenario thoughts about the future racing through my mind...
I gave up and got up. I cried. A lot. I was too tired and sad to journal about what I was feeling even though I knew that would be most effective. I opened my computer and desperately hoped that someone was on Facebook at 2:30 am. I needed to talk. I needed help. No one was online, so I did other things - anything - to take my mind off my dark thoughts. I retweeted some great stuff on Twitter. I pinned and scooped some intriguing articles. Eventually, at 4 am, I attempted again to sleep and got maybe 2 hours.
I missed seeing my son off to school this morning for the first time ever. Not the end of the world, but on top of my deeply depressed mood it was the straw that broke the camel's back. My husband was around then and I thank the universe for him. It's not that he helped me work through the emotions or the negative thoughts - that's no so much his forté - but he got me to laugh. He helped me to not take things so seriously, and like my generous friend with her kind words he reminded me of all the good that I do.
And then I saw this video, and all was right again with the world:
It's funny, because it's true and it's ridiculous. This really is what we sometimes sound like - especially we Twittery bloggers.
Seeing the humour in things and taking things lightly has immense healing power.
Thank-you to my friend for her kind words. Thank-you to my husband for being my rock.
And thank-you to Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake. Without your special man-friend creative union, this world would be a much darker place.
Until next time,