If words could ever be enough, I would speak them to you and heal your pain, or if it were allowed, I would help you at least to carry it. Instead, I will be a constant mirror to you so that you can one day see what I see: a miracle, woman and mother, vulnerable and strong, beautiful and loving.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Still a beautiful woman inside and out, still a good mother (though not as good as she thinks she should be), still herself but different in hard to perceive ways.
She wears a veil of grey now that clouds and distorts all experience. It dulls the colours. The veil will lift someday - some - enough - but in no one's time but her own. Even she can not say when this will be.
When the veil does lift she will not be as she was. Though she will begin to see the beauty in things again, begin to laugh fully the way the innocent do, she that was is gone. She now is more serious than others, more grateful, more conscious, and more alive in ways than those with the luxury of seeing through rose-coloured glasses. This is as it should be, but she will not know this for some time yet.
In the meantime...
She will be strong, because she has no choice. She will bend and nearly break to do the things that the rest of us find simply annoying because we have much and appreciate little.
And I will let her know that...
She is a gift. She is both what has been lost and what has been saved. She is strength, vulnerability, beauty and love. She is me and she is enough.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Your grace and courage are an inspiration to me, dear friend.