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Sunday, September 18, 2011

I wish kids today could....

I remember my childhood. I was one of five kids. That tells you that I was not watched every minute of the day. If the weather was nice, we were outside. All day. We might be in our backyard or a neighbour's or running from house to house playing hide and seek. As we got older, we'd spend time at the park with our friends. We kids were fairly independent, gracing our mothers with our presence for meals, snacks, and to quench our thirsts. There was no preschool or playschool. There was just school school. Oh, and childhood.

You know how I love lists, and here comes another. This topic is courtesy of Stasha of North West Mommy.

These are ten things I did as a kid that I wish kids today could do.


1. I wish kids were allowed to play all day in the sand and muck without worrying about soiling or tearing their clothes. Maybe it was just me. I didn't have clothes that anyone would care about (I had a lot of my sister's hand-me-downs and she's about half a foot shorter than me - but that's a post for another time), so I just played and got dirty.

2. In fact, I didn't pay too much attention to my looks until about grade 9. That's when I started wearing makeup. I wish kids didn't feel so much pressure to look mature. Kids used to be allowed to be kids.

3. I wish kids could go to school or anywhere without having to sanitize their hands upon entering, before eating, before playing with toys... etc. Hand sanitizer is probably to blame for the crazy number of colds our kids bring home these days. Remember when we used to wash our hands in the sink when we came inside from playing? With soap? What the heck is wrong with soap?

4. I wish kids were allowed to run. There are so many places where I have to ask my son to use 'walking feet'. I'm not sure I was much of a runner as a child, but I sure had the opportunity. Don't run, little Johnny. You might trip and fall! Ahh... and? You might hurt yourself. Yes... and?

5. In fact, kids aren't allowed to do much of anything the least bit daring with their bodies. Yes, it's true that playground safety is a real concern. But, we're all so paranoid, thanks to the media and our health agencies' helpful, but perhaps sometimes overzealous, warning messages, that our kids are not being allowed to learn about their capabilities and test their limits. A healthy level of fear is important, but we're in danger of passing on this debilitating paranoia to our kids.

6. I honestly wish preschool wasn't necessary. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE that there is a place my child can go and have a good time while also learning. He loves to learn. (I love 'me' time.) But, the fact that people can be heard saying things like, "If you don't send your child to preschool, they'll never keep up in Kindergarten and Grade 1." The pressure on kids these days is intense. Apparently, some kids at the kindergarten level are being sent home with an hour's worth of homework. HOMEWORK! Nutty.

7. We used to walk to school all by ourselves. We were aware of stranger danger. Stay-at-home moms displayed Block Parent decals in their windows. We walked to school confidently, sometimes with friends, sometimes completely alone. And we survived. I know. I know. There are real dangers, and I will definitely be walking my own child to school until I am very confident that he will be able to take care of himself. It's just sad that kids are losing their independence in this way.

8. I wish that kids spent more time socializing face-to-face. Our adult obsessions with electronics and social media have affected the way our kids interact with each other. When I was a kid... (Oh, Lord. I'm starting to sound like my parents. That reminds me of a Bill Cosby sketch - see below.) When I was a kid, there were no cell phones. There was no Twitter, no Facebook, and no texting. If I wanted to see a friend, I got off my a## and walked over to her house.

9. We used to watch maybe an hour of TV a day. Our first computer was... I'm going to seriously date myself here... a Commodore Vic 20. It didn't provide much in the way of entertainment - not by today's standards, anyway. Essentially, we did not have a lot of 'screen time'. We played. Outside. With our friends. With... gasp... our siblings even. If we got bored, we found something to do, rather than looking for entertainment from a shiny box/tablet/iGadget/etc. Now, when kids get bored, they are quickly and easily entertained. (Oh, I'm not judging. I'm guilty of passing over the iPad on a particularly rough day. It's just a tad sad, is all.)

10. Generally speaking, I wish kids had the opportunities today that I had as a child. Opportunities to test their limits and build confidence, opportunities to really connect with friends and family, and just simply the time to be kids. Kids need to play, to discover, to learn, to make mistakes, to solve their own problems, to feel capable.

Phew. That was a tad depressing! It's not all bad. Kids do have some amazing opportunities of other sorts these days. The fact that preschool is an option is a bonus. That they can keep in touch with relatives from far away using things like FaceTime and Skype is a real treat. If they are watching TV, at least there are nowadays a multitude of educational and morally appropriate options.

If you're still sad, remember that our parents worried about us as their parents worried about them. We had it so much better, yet so much harder, than our kids, but not nearly so good or so challenging as our parents or their parents and so on. It's probably never as bad as it seems to us. It's our job to worry and to lament the loss of childhood.

I saw Bill Cosby live as a kid, and I will never forget this sketch. The thought of it when I am taking things too seriously, always helps me to put it all in perspective... and to laugh.
http://youtu.be/Tt33zqib2qk

26 comments:

  1. This is a great list, Sue!! I haven't sent any of my kids to preschool *gasp*!! They will be in school for years! And guess what? They aren't behind at all! Actually they are in advanced reading and math groups, so I guess there goes THAT theory ;)
    Honestly, though, I wish kids had more independence too.

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  2. Aww, I missed it the first time!! Thank you for the mention :) You are so sweet!

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  3. Great list! I completely get the playing in sand and muck and hand sanitizer; all I have to do is read a story about some new crazy microbial bacteria in sand or dirt that can harm our kids and my mind wants to stop my girls from playing in it and get showered in sanitizer. Like hearing in the news the brain-eating amoeba found in warm waters that has killed three children. I want my girls to swim and play in water holes, but now I'll probably worry. I am glad my four-year-old loves her preschool, but I definitely see it as a place for her to socialize and have fun. My sister is a kindergarten teacher and she told me once that she's met many parents who hire tutors for their 3 and 4 year olds to expand on what they're already learning in preschool! Hearing this makes me go even further in the other direction and to just be happy my daughter is enjoying the few hours she gets in preschool a few days a week. I think each generation of children gets new pressures put on them by others. I really enjoyed reading your list and I agree, reading Jen's list also helped me to relax!!

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  4. Jen, I agree. My son is in preschool mainly because I want him, as an only child, to have opportunities to socialize, and because it gives me a break. Otherwise, I am at home with him, attempting to help guide him and teach him. I think he would have turned out just fine without preschool. Now, whether or not *I* would have survived.... that's another story. ;)

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  5. K, it's hard NOT to be paranoid, isn't it? We are bombarded with warnings and tragic stories. I can't watch the news or read the paper any more. It just affects my nerves and my confidence too much. I want to feel that I am doing at least *some * things 'right'.

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  6. Love your list and different perspectives it brings. Love the conversations we are starting. Love Bill Crosby.
    I think it is absurd that my son is being thought so much in preschool already. Sometimes kids just need to be kids. Sometimes adults need to reals a bit. Sometimes it would be nice to have it all. But in the end you are right. It is living in the here and the now and being happy finding balance that counts.

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  7. Sue, this is a very thorough list and I agree with it all, especially #10. The Bill Cosby sketch is hilarious and a nice touch!

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  8. I love the list! I wish that I could stay home with my son even now, but I am so thankful that he has somewhere to go to learn and socialize while I'm at work. I also wish that kids had more of a chance to be kids - to get dirty and be rambunctious without sitting in front of the TV, computer or video games. What happened to the fresh air?

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  9. Great list Sue! Besides the Bill Cosby reference which I LOVE, I also have to give you a virtual high five over the hand sanitzer. I found myself nodding in agreement w/much of what you wrote. The whole preschool thing, ugh! Thankfully I found a program for my daughter that's only 2x a week for 2.25 hours. She's going to be in school FOREVER at this rate, there's no need for anything more.

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  10. great list! i agree with it all, too. i cracked up at your soap comment...i don't even own any hand sanitizer (for same, i know!), i'm such a rebel. ;)

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  11. Stasha thanks for coming up with these great list ideas every week. It's a pleasure to reflect on these topics in a low pressure way (e.g. list format). Me likey!

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  12. Thanks Christine. Bill Cosby is one of my most favourite people of all time!

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  13. We all seem to be hitting on the same themes, and all seem to be coming away a little sadder. Maybe it's time for all of us to stand up--or maybe sit down--and just let our kids be kids?

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  14. How do I love this list? Let me count the ways!

    I was the eldest of four children in a single-parent household. This meant i had lots of time to play with my siblings--in the house, in the yard, at one of the playgrounds near the house, en route to the library. We had so many opportunities to test our own boundaries and figure out who we were.

    Parts of my childhood were hard, but these parts were fabulous. I'm trying to emulate my mom in her approach to things. Li'l D will fall down, but he'll learn a little bit about what he does and doesn't want to do by falling. Trying to get him to learn from my experiences isn't apt to be any more successful than trying to get my siblings to learn from my experiences, so why not stand back and enjoy watching him learn? Even if it involves a little mud or sand in the hair?

    It's working great so far. Surprise, huh, given how it worked for decades before? ;)

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  15. I couldn't agree more!

    Oh, and that Cosby sketch is simply awesome!

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  16. Totally agree kids are into looks far too early. I blame the Toddlers & Tiaras parents. But really, it's a little much. And I agree with the preschool thing. I already feel pressured to find one.

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  17. I love your list! I feel like kids are expected to grow up too quick. I am 35 and still don't like to wear make-up. Hoping my daughter feels that way too. But not holding my breath. It is funny that you mention independence. I am one of those parents that tends to be over protective and my hubby is always telling me that i have to let the boys be boys (within reason of course). It is amazing survived as children with only Saturday morning cartoons instead of the 24 hour nick Jr channel. Of course I am totally teasing. Kids need a chance to be kids. My 4 year old is in preschool but only because he loves the social interaction. And it gives me a little more time with my 2 year old and 10 month old.

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  18. Thanks Marisa! It does seem that they have to grow up too quick, although I can remember my parents saying the same thing about us kids. I remember our TV nights (Sunday after the scheduled roast beef dinner) being very special - a tradition. I'm trying to treat TV that way in our house too - something to be enjoyed in moderation!

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  19. Bruce, I definitely try to protect my guy's childhood. It get me/us into trouble sometimes, but that's alright too!

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  20. Thanks Deb! :) (Boy am I late in responding to these comments!) Mud and sand in the hair - oh yeah! My mother used to say that every child should eat a little dirt in their lifetime. Good for the immune system.

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  21. Amanda, thanks. I love that sketch too, and adore Bill Cosby.

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  22. Rach, that Toddlers and Tiaras show makes me nauseous. I just can not believe parents would do that to their children. Not cute. So, not cute.

    Preschool is great, but IMO as long as they are getting opportunities to socialize and learn they're doing well.

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  23. i feel the same way.
    I miss the way our communities were when we were kids.
    Block parents, sleep overs at the last minute, running around the neighbourhood all day..
    But not anymore.
    The dangers are very real.
    AND?
    Parents are losing site of what is important.

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  24. This was a great list - summarizing very well the paranoid world we now live in. And thanks for lightening it with the Bill Cosby video - so funny and so true!

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  25. Leighann - totally agree. It's not hard to understand why parents are confused. The media really inflates the risk. I just can't even watch the news anymore!

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  26. Iza thanks. :) Bill Cosby was a brilliant man. He had it all figured out.

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