The View From Here: Guest Posting at I'm Dancing in the Rain Finding Joy on an Unpaved Road

Today, I'm guest blogging at I'm Dancing in the Rain (formerly Just Jennifer). Jennifer has a moving new series called The View From Here, which hosts a new blogger each Thursday. Bloggers share their perspective in their own voice from where they are in their journey.

Finding Joy on an Unpaved Road

(click the title to access my guest post)

Today, I open up about my experience as a mother of a child with Lyme Disease, while I myself am struggling with Lyme Disease and several other autoimmune disorders. I hope you will visit Jennifer's blog and share your thoughts with me. I know that I am not alone in this struggle, that many other moms have children with chronic illness and other special needs while struggling in their own ways to survive. I am sharing this piece of myself in the hopes that you will know that you are not alone, that you can share your story too, and that there is healing and hope and even happiness even in the midst of the struggle.

Click here to access my post.

Happy Hallowe'en: Don't be mad. It's just cute fruit!

I read a blog post this morning that inspired me to write this one. The author, a guest poster on Scary Mommy's blog named Marnie, claims to be "Taking Back Halloween" from "curmudgeons" who, according to her, want to ruin her holidays.  Do you know how these "hate mongers" do it? By providing Hallowe'en themed fruit and TREAT-sized treats. GASP!!! The horror of it!

I mean, just look at these clementine pumpkins and banana ghosts! What sick twisted child-hating parent would force these on your child?

I am so totally making these! 

Find lots of other fun & healthy 

Hallowe'en treat ideas at 

Spaceships and Laserbeams.

Good Lord, what's next? Diet candy??? Actually, these lollipops made with Xylitol are really good, and suitable for diabetics. 

The author is fed up, it seems, by articles that suggest healthier or diet-based holidays. She's so fed up that she and her kids are not only going to eat processed candy at Hallowe'en, they're going to gorge themselves on it. And she's taking her kids to "where the rich people live", because this apparently means they will get "the whole effing candy bar". She's also going to egg the houses that give them "some sort of homemade shit or raisins". 

Alright, Marnie might be exaggerating for comedic effect - surely she's not really so ungrateful a person that she would vandalize the house of someone who spent time and money on a treat that they thought she and her kids would enjoy. Marnie just wants what she wants. Fair enough.

I want what I want to, and at the root of it all Marnie and I probably want the same basic thing. We want our kids to be happy. She believes that super sized candy bars will make her kids happy. Me? I want my kid to have fun on Hallowe'en too. I want him to have 'treats'. But I also want him to live a long, healthy, disease-free, pain-free life, and that means no super sized candy bars for him.

You know what's possibly worse than having to put up with people who make fancy Hallowe'en decorations out of fruit? It's having a child who can't eat anything else.

I hope that people don't assume that if I bring clementine pumpkins to my son's Hallowe'en celebration at school (which the kids would LOVE), it's because I want to dictate what other people should be eating or because I think anyone needs to go on a diet. I do these things so that my child can not only participate in the fun, but feel like he contributed - so that he can feel normal.

If you have any kind of allergy or diet restriction, you know what it's like to look down a buffet table and see that the only thing that is safe to eat is a vegetable or piece of fruit. I'm a grown up. I can deal with that sort of thing.

Now imagine you're a six-year-old boy and you have to watch every other kid eat whatever they want from that table. Sad, right? I think so too, so I make up for that any way I can, and that might just mean making ridiculously cute pumpkins and ghosts out of bananas and clementines.

What will I hand out at my house on Hallowe'en? Probably the same things I have handed out for years: bags of chips, lollipops and chocolate bars. Standard, treat-sized treats. We are not "rich people" and even if we were, I wouldn't feel the need to give out huge bars of candy just to win some other mom's approval. I have seen the articles suggesting handing out healthier Hallowe'en treats, and I've considered it, but for now I'm giving the people what they seem to want, in treat-sized portions.

And what about my son? Even if you don't have anyone in your family with diet restrictions of any kind, you can probably imagine what trick-or-treating can be like for a kid with multiple allergies. My son can not have gluten, dairy or sugar. Sugar! Can you imagine a Hallowe'en without it? Well, I can. I have to, because I want the same thing Jill wants. I want my child to be happy.

We could choose not to participate, of course, but, at least for now, he enjoys dressing up and going door to door. He collects candy, brings it home and I trade him for it (and donate the candy to someone who will love it). He can choose coins, safe treats (like those Xylitol pops I mentioned earlier), a mystery (dollar store) 'prize' from a Hallowe'en themed canvas bag, and so on. This way, the whole experience is fun for him.

All I ask is a little tolerance and understanding. Not everyone who offers a healthy Hallowe'en treat is out to ruin another kid's holiday. I think it's safe to say that almost no one is concerned with ruining anyone else's holiday. Most of us have the best of intentions and if I have a wish it is that people assume this to be true.

I hope you all have a safe and very happy Hallowe'en!

Sue

Opportunities For Growth

The last two weeks have been a challenge. Nothing Earth-shattering, just the passing of my laptop and the loss of a bunch of hard work. I'm typing this post excruciatingly slowly on my iPad. See, not all bad. I still have 'the pad'.

I did spend three hours at the Apple store surrounded by 'geniuses' who had no idea why data was not being transferred to my USB key, on a day when I was supposed to be baking treats for my son's music concert. Had to leave without my data to make it to the concert on time (which was really fun - Jack sang loud and proud and was, not suprisingly to those of us that know him, the loudest on the drum).

This quote comes to mind when I think back on this week:

"If you're not having problems, you are missing an opportunity for growth." ~ Unknown

 
True. Very true. My computer woes left me with time to reflect on my priorities, more time to spend with my son. Jack and I had a fun week. I embraced the fact that I was in the middle of something over which I had little to no control. There is some freedom in that recognition.

What I did have control over was the outcome. The result of this challenge was a positive one: I used it as an opportunity to connect with my son and to slow down long enough to take in the view of the terrain that lies before me, rather than continuing to trudge on, head low, seeing only my feet.

Without challenges, life would be dull. It would be predictable, true, but very, very dull. I say, Embrace the challenges! Rise above them and have a story to tell!

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I'm linking up with Bianca of Bits of Bee for her 

Quotable Bits link up. Come on and join the fun!

It's About the Moments

This plaque sits on my bookshelf, a daily reminder to slow down, look, listen, and breathe in the moments.

I have a tendency to want to produce, to achieve, and my natural state is one of business. So this plaque has a central place in my home, a gift from a friend, to remind me that there is more to life than a desire for more. It is here, already here, within reach.

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I'm linking up with Bianca of Bits of Bee for her 

Quotable Bits link up. Come on and join the fun!

2012: One Word

I first learned about the concept of adopting one word to focus on each year when Lisa of Shwartz Chronicles spoke about it. I love her 2011 word, "Move". Something I definitely need to do more of.

I was reminded of the one-word concept again earlier this week by Amanda of Lilahbility (have you chosen your word yet, Amanda?), and again today by Robin of Farewell Stranger who is also looking to adopt one word for 2012.

Last fall, I bought a few painted stones that spoke to me. Each one contained a word that I want to focus on.

I pondered them this morning and selected one.

Can you guess which one?

Here it is:

Why did I choose it? The others are just as important, but I'm making some progress with those. In my life now, there are many challenges. What I need most is to allow myself to rejoice in the fun and the joyful, and to recognize my accomplishments. Too often, I gloss over those things, not taking the time to celebrate them.

REJOICE! 

I have decided something else too. I am not meant to be a hand model, and I need to moisturize more often.

Have you chosen one word to focus on this year? 

What does that word mean to you?

Ten Things Quotable

Today I'll share ten of my favourite quotes. These quotes all have something in common: they lift me up. Some of them make me laugh. Others help me to appreciate what I have. Most of them inspire me to rise above life's challenges and to live a fuller life.

Have a list of ten things quotable that you'd like to share? Link it up!

Fall down seven times, get up eight. ~ Japanese Proverb

A very simple idea, with great power. It's true that each time we fall we rise again. Whenever I face a challenge in life, I remind myself that inevitably I will land on my feet. With this awareness there is no need to be afraid, no need for doubt.

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." - Groucho Marx

Why do I love this quote? Maybe it's because I love to read. Maybe it's because Groucho Marx was such a wit. This quote always makes me laugh, and to me laughter is life's elixir.

We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand. ~ Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

Randy Pausch knew he was dying of pancreatic cancer, incidentally the same cancer that took my dad's life, when he delivered his now famous last lecture at Carnegie Mellon University. Even when facing death, Randy was optimistic as he spoke to his students of the lessons he had learned and how anyone can achieve their dreams. This statement helps me to remember that though there are many things over which I have no control, I can control my reaction to these things. I am never a victim. I have the power to create the life that I choose.

Note: I think this idea was originally coined by Josh Billings as, "Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well."

"I love deadlines. I love the wooshing sound they make as they fly by." ~ Douglas Adams

Douglas Adams is another funny, funny man. The reason this quote is always in my back pocket is to remind me that highly successful people have trouble meeting deadlines too. It's not just me. And in the end, being on time is not really the sexiest thing to be remembered for. Woosh!

"If you're not having problems, you are missing an opportunity for growth." ~ Unknown 

It's another simple but profound idea. We need to be able to laugh at ourselves and our predicaments (we mommy bloggers have this one figured out)! Once again, it's about recognizing when we have no control over the situation, but much control over the outcome. Without challenges, life would be dull. It would be predictable, true, but very, very dull. Embrace the challenges. Rise above them and have a story to tell!

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger" ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Nitezsche was a bit of a tortured nut job, but he sometimes made good sense. As a child, I used this phrase very frequently, and it has certainly held true. The more we challenge ourselves, or face head-on the challenges that come our way, and succeed, the more our confidence grows. When we believe in ourselves, there's nothing we can't handle.

"I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved." ~ Will Rogers

In keeping with the previous quote is this one. When I read it I think of an old woman with many stories to tell, some of them easily legible in the lines on her face. Better a long and bumpy road than the same old familiar stretch of smoothly paved highway. At the end of my life I want to be able to say that I saw things, that I was adventurous. Perhaps you will be able to tell by the lines on my face.

One day an old Native American grandfather was talking to his grandson. He said, "There are two wolves fighting inside all of us - the wolf of fear and hate, and the wolf of love and peace." The grandson listened, then looked up at his grandfather and asked, "Which one will win?" The grandfather replied, "The one we feed."

A great story that reminds me how my every thought and action affects my inner state, as well as the universe in general. Whatever I put out there, will come back to me. A simple change in attitude can immediately change the course of events.

"Consistency is the last resort of the unimaginative." ~ Oscar Wilde

This quote makes me feel better about an aspect of myself that might otherwise be seen as a negative. I'm not good with routine. I'm not interested in doing things the same way time and again. I am interested in innovation, problem solving, thinking outside the box. I'm definitely a dreamer, and you can bet I'll be encouraging my son to exercise his imagination.

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” ~ Maria Robinson

Again I am reminded that no matter what has come to pass, be it yesterday, years before or just moments ago, anything else can still happen. It only takes a small action to invoke a change. A simple change in attitude might even do it. No matter what IS, there is no telling what might BE. Nothing in the past determines the future.

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And here's a bonus eleventh quote from a book I will be reviewing on Cookie's Book Club this month:

In Bull Canyon by Lin Pardey, Lin wonders how a person builds something as big as a boat and calls it “a really daunting task”. Her partner Larry, the boat builder, offers this insight:  

“You don’t build a boat, Lin....You build a keel timber. When that’s finished, you build a stem. Think of each piece as a separate goal in itself and watch the pieces fit together until you have a complete boat. That way you can enjoy each step and celebrate each triumph without getting overwhelmed.”

I love this! I may just have it printed on a wall plaque. This is a great analogy for all of us in the building of our own “boat”, even if we don't yet have one to build or recognize what our "boat" is. It remind us to celebrate our small successes, as they are part of the bigger whole.

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A special thank-you to my friend RDS, a constant source of inspiration.

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