Acceptance for Positive Change - or - Stop Nagging Already!

Today, I accepted the fact that I am a nag. I nag my son all morning long, beginning with light nags like "It's time to get dressed now" and "Don't forget to turn off the light in your bedroom." Eventually, no matter how many nags I issue, we are behind schedule and in our last five minutes the nags are coming fast and furious. "You've got x, y, and z still to do and you've got two minutes to do them in." "We need to be out the door in one minute." "We're late!" "RUN!!!"

Not only does this stress mama out, it creates a tension between junior and I that I don't like. After all, we only have this short hour of togetherness before he's gone to school all day. I also don't want the start to his day to be stressful. My constant reminders about what he has to do and when he has to do it also relieve him of any responsibility for anything. He knows I am watching the clock, so why should he? He knows I'll remind him if he forgets something, so why listen the first time?

Today, I decided to take responsibility for what I was doing, instead of blaming him for what he was not doing. Today was day one of my son's new life as a responsible six-and-a-half-year-old. This morning, he was responsible for everything, including keeping track of the time and what he had to get done. He has a watch and he can read it. He knows the morning routine. Guess what? We made it to the bus on time. Yes, we had to sprint, but we made it. No stress and a light workout. Awesome.

Have a responsible day! :)

Sue

My Heart Belongs to You, Little One

I'm linking up today with Bianca of Bits of Bee for her new Quotable Bits link up. Come on and join the fun!

Today I am preparing to register my son - my baby - for Kindergarten. KINDERGARTEN! Sigh.

Big snuggles this morning. I love our lazy starts. I'll register him for afternoons to hold onto them a little longer. It's too soon for full days. Grade 1 will be too soon for full days!

It's a good thing that the letting go is gradual. Baby steps. But no matter how gradual it is, I feel it. I feel his move towards independence. It's a good thing. The natural order. Still my heart aches with thoughts of 'losing him'.

He's my only one. There's a whole lot of me wrapped up in him.

Today's quote says it all:

 

Boy, did she nail that! That is exactly how I feel.

I understand completely why mamas want to have more kids at this stage. This is the stage when snuggles are fewer and farther between. We long to feel that closeness that we knew nothing of until the day our first child was born.

Bitter sweet. But the memories are enough to sustain me for the rest of my life. Had I not become a parent - even just the once - I would not have known that my heart could expand to hold so much more love. 

Though it's hard to believe it myself, it feels as though my heart grows with love for him each day. Elizabeth Stone's quote articulated something for me that until I read I only felt. Intensely. 

Take my heart with you little one, for though it aches to be separated from it and from you, I would have it no other way. My heart belongs to you.

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I'm also linking up with Lovelinks @FreeFringes,

a super cool place to hang out!

Stop by each week, link up a favourite post.

Come back the next day and vote for your favourites.

Ten Tips for New Moms

It's Monday again, and you know what that means! Time to link up with NorthWest Mommy for Monday Listicles. If you're not addicted already, check out the Monday Listicles movement. Get a writing prompt each week and treat it however you like. Couldn't be more fun!

It's a particularly exciting link up for me today, because I got to choose this week's topic: Ten Tips for New Moms! In case you missed it, you can read all about my rationale for choosing this topic in my post from last week, Guilty Pleasures. (Thanks to Jacqui of Chicktuition for suggesting last week's topic.)

I'm also linking up with Love Links. Join the community and meet some new blogging friends. Link up your favourite post from the week. If you like my post, you can visit Love Links to vote for me.

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Before I get to my listicle for this week, have you heard the news? Since you all know and love Stasha B, I thought you'd want to be in on it. Stasha recently ran a contest to give away one of her limited edition, signed prints as a thank-you to her fans for encouraging her to launch her new photography business. We all know how talented she is and we're all very excited that she's finally taken the plunge! Well, guess who won the contest? Yup. ME!!!! Take a look at what I won!

Thanks so much, Stasha! It's a stunning photo and it's going to look fantastic on my wall. Visit Stasha's new website, Stasha B. Photography to check out her latest creations.

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Now on to this week's Listicle.

I expected this post to be a funny, lighthearted look at motherhood, rather than the more serious and emotional piece it turned out to be. I have many crazy anecdotes from my own mishaps as a new mother that I thought I might share, but for whatever reason, this post just didn't go that way. I'll save those stories for another time: perhaps a post entitled, My Ten Biggest F*Ups Since Becoming a Mom. How will I limit myself to just ten?

Ten Tips for New Moms

1) Labour and Delivery. Let's start at the beginning shall we? You're pregnant. You're full of joy and the promise of a perfect life with your perfect new family. You and hubby have worked out the perfect birthing plan, attended Lamaze classes so you will know how to breathe through the pain, and packed your bag with all of the comforts you will need for your transition from this stage to the next beautiful stage of your transformation into motherhood.

Here's the thing. Things never go according to plan. Plans are great - guidelines - wish lists, is really what they are. You will be disappointed if you expect things to go entirely the way you want them to. Hope for the best, but be prepared for alternatives. One way or another, the baby will come out, and that is all that will matter in the end. When you hold that little bundle in your arms, the unimportant details of how he or she arrived will melt away.

My experience: The breathing lessons were completely useless as I went from no contractions to contractions 2 minutes apart, instantly. I brought a bag to the hospital packed full of things to aid in my "comfort" during labour and delivery, but never used any of it. When we arrived at the hospital we left the bag in the car and once in labour I couldn't let go of my husband's arms long enough for him to go and get it. The only thing I desperately needed from that bag was an elastic band to keep my sweaty hair out of my face! I resisted the drugs, as per "the plan" but just barely and mostly due to circumstance (I couldn't stand the nitrous oxide, I kept telling the epidural guys to "Go away! Wait come back! Nevermind, go away!" and the baby came really quickly). In the end, all that matters is the beautiful boy I now have in my life.

2) Nursing. So you want to nurse your baby exclusively, for at least four years? That is a respectable goal, to be sure. Mine was to nurse exclusively for 2 years. But, once again, life has a way of messing with our plans. Accept ahead of time that there are certain things that are beyond your control. Despite your best efforts, nursing may be difficult for you as it is for many, if not all, moms at least some of the time. This is NOT cause for shame. It is NORMAL. We are told that breastfeeding is the most natural thing we can do as women, so we expect it to just work. In reality, breastfeeding is HARD WORK! We are told all sorts of things about how and when we should nurse our babies, how and when to introduce a bottle, if ever. Wait and see. Breathe. Listen to your heart. Do what feels right to you and what works for the unique pairing of mother and child.

My experience: I wanted to nurse exclusively and did, for fourteen months. It nearly killed me. My son had acid reflux and nursed every 1-2 hours (which meant that I slept never more than one hour at a time) until we finally sorted out what was wrong and got him on the right medication - 5 months later. I listened to advice to not give him a bottle for 6 weeks to avoid so-called "nipple confusion". After that, my son would not take a bottle. No confusion, but still no rest for mom! If I had a second, I swore, he would have one bottle a day right from the start so that someone else could feed the baby and I could have a rest. I had many other nursing struggles along the way and almost quit several times. I finally stopped nursing when it seemed that Jack was less dependent on it, and when my body told me it had had enough. I'm glad that I had the opportunity to nurse my child, but would never suggest that there is a right way to do so or even that nursing is necessary. Yes, it has benefits, but probably way more important is a healthy, happy and connected mom.

3) Sleep. Ugh. We parents torment ourselves for years over the quality of our children's sleep. Scheduled naps and bed times. Sleep training: 'cry-it-out' methods have us alternately feeling we are giving our children the gift of a lifetime of healthy sleep habits and crying our eyes out thinking we are the cruelest parents ever. Try not to lose your mind. Try not to hate your partner, if you have one to deal with, when he or she unwittingly undermines your sleep plan. Be patient with him or her - they are learning too. Stay strong. Be persistent, but be forgiving with yourself and your child. Whatever sleep goals make sense to you, trust your judgement, give them a try. Don't be too hard on yourself if it's not easy or if you decide it's not working and you need a new plan. There is never anything wrong with changing course. In fact, as true as it may seem to you that change is the only constant, you've never experienced how true this is until becoming a mother. Get ready to go with the flow!

My experience: I am not a good sleeper. This obviously affected my decisions with respect to setting up my son's sleep habits. His first five months (with acid reflux and trouble sleeping) had an affect as well. It was important to me that he learn to sleep on his own. Ideally, he would also be able to sleep through noise. We were, despite teasing and, in some cases, judgement from others, very strict with Jack's bed time. Unlike other parents who kept their kids up until midnight so that they could attend weddings and other events, we put Jack to bed at the same time every night without exception. We felt that sleep was that important. We used a cry-it-out method as it was needed, a few times over the course of his first 3 years. It always worked pretty well. It was always very hard to do. Our son is a pretty good sleeper. We're not as strict anymore on very special occasions, but if he's late to bed it's only by an hour or two. We don't feel that he has missed out on anything as a result.

Sleep is another topic that could fill several posts. Whatever sleep problems you run into, know that there is a solution. There is a way to correct anything that goes wrong. Stay educated about sleep concerns and you'll be just fine.

4) Food. Double ugh! You will spend a ridiculous amount of your time preparing food and then shoveling it into the garbage when your baby, and then child, refuses to eat it. It will make you cry at least once. Breathe. This too shall pass. Not slowly, but it will. Over the years, if you are patient, your child will learn to enjoy what food is put in front of him or her. Resist the urge to be a short order cook! Resist the urge to feel you are a failure because your child will not eat broccoli. Your baby will eat if hungry and will, over the course of the week, if you are serving a variety of healthy foods, get all the nutrients he or she needs. This is your new mantra - repeat after me: I, as a parent, decide when and what my child will eat. My child decides if and how much he or she will eat.


My experience: I made all of my baby's first foods from scratch. I recognize this is not for everyone, especially moms who head back to work or have multiple kids or multiple demands on their time. It was, for me, relatively easy and made me feel good about controlling the type and quality of food my child was getting, I used good quality, organic food and still, I think, saved money. As time went on, I tried to expose my child to a variety of foods and flavours. I still try to use good quality food at home an to buy little or no processed food. This is a topic that I could dedicate several posts to. Tomorrow I will discuss a tiny aspect of the problem of getting kids to eat what's good for them.

5) Milestones. Milestones are both joyous to behold and the source of much anxiety for many parents. Know this, new mama. When your doctor tells you that your baby is just fine, it's really true. Your little Joey may not be crawling yet while many of his peers are. He may not be the crawling type. He may just stand up and walk one day. Sally may not be able to colour between the lines until she is five or six. You know what? That's okay! Every child develops differently. Each one has different interests. Encourage your child's interests. Gently help them to experience new things and learn new skills. Recognize your child's efforts and be proud of her accomplishments. Resist the temptation to compare your child to others her age.

My experience: I have been in situations, even with beloved family members, where when speaking about one of my child's interests (for example, noting that my son loves activity books as he plows through one at a family dinner), I have had to endure lectures about what my child should and shouldn't be doing, what appropriate development and learning is for his age, and so on. Someone might simply note something my child is doing and talk about how their child/neice/grandchild/etc can do that only better. I have seen moms shrink in size as some other mom bragged about their child in a way meant to make other children seem slow to develop. Moms, I implore you. Be proud of your children AND other children too. They are all beautiful creatures who will, if we get out of their way, grow up to be brilliant at any number of things they choose.

6) School. As your child gets a little older, you'll face such important questions as, Should I enroll my child in Gymboree? Should he go to preschool? Which one? What about language? Does my child need to be in french or spanish immersion? Most moms agree some form of socialization is good for kids. Yours might get it at home. As to which school, which subjects and what's important for your child to be exposed to? That's a very personal choice. Respect your choices. Trust your instincts about what's best for your child and be okay with it. It absolutely does not matter what anyone else does. Period.

My experience: I did the Gymboree thing for a while, and took Jack to some programs at our local rec centre. It kept him active and that was necessary for his sanity and mine. As an only child, I think he benefited from being around other kids. He is now in preschool. One that he loves to attend. One that embraces play. It didn't matter to me to have him in the best preschool to prepare him scholastically for kindergarten and beyond. I'm still debating which school he will go to, but my priorities at this age will lean more toward where he will be happiest (things like being close to home and friends will be factors) rather than where he will get the best education. A good public school will likely be good enough. (As an aside, this is a difficult decision where I live as we have a ridiculous number of choices when it comes to type of school.)

7) Bad behaviour. Along with socialization, and simply being a toddler or preschooler, comes bad behaviour: defiance, hitting, kicking, name-calling, screaming, whining, running away, not listening, not cooperating... the list has the potential to go on and on. Please don't be too hard on yourself when your perfect angel starts to do bad things. It does not make her a bad kid. It does not make you a bad parent. Into each life a little poop must fall, and as the parent of a toddler or preschooler you will shovel your fair share. Just clean it up and get some good advice on how to avoid stepping in any more of it.

My experience: You may have heard me mention my willful child in the past. I don't know where he gets it from (ahem), but it's a challenge to deal with. Just when I have one problem sorted a new one rears it's ugly head. It's tiring. I knew it would be this way too. I remember him kicking the bejeebers out of me in utero and thinking, This kid is going to be trouble. But I also knew that meant he would be a critical thinker, and that if I could just keep calm and support him he'd do really well in life. I knew it would be tough, and I quickly learned it would be tougher to do on my own. Which brings me to my next two tips...

8) Get educated! Knowledge is power. When you are feeling overwhelmed, remember that whatever you are experiencing many women before you have also experienced. Take advantage of courses offered to new moms. Many may be offered for free through your health region. Check out the multitude of books available through your library on a range of topics related to bringing up baby: some of the ones we just talked about, such as sleep and feeding. Subscribe to newsletters that offer tips and information about child development, where to get help when you need it, recipes, local family-friendly resources and events... whatever will make your life easier! Motherhood will be your hardest and most rewarding job ever. Don't be afraid to use the training manuals!

My experience: I met a group of moms when Jack was 3 1/2 months old through my local health region. We attended a course together that offered advice to new moms on all things related to keeping baby healthy. This combined with an information booklet offered by my health region were valuable resources for me. I also subscribed to babycenter.com for tips on supporting my child's development. If free information and advice was made available to me, I took it! I didn't necessarily follow everything I read or was told, but I made sure I had plenty of information to make informed decisions.

9) Get help! There is no shame in it. In fact, it's one of the smartest things you can do. Find someone in your life, a group of new moms or an organization you trust and use them! Ask them for help, and offer your help whenever you can. As a new mom you will see that one of your best resources is the huge network of fabulous moms out there, both the ones with kids your age and the ones who have been where you are about to go. Don't be afraid to make new connections. Many of these moms will become life-long friends.

My experience: Remember that group of moms I mentioned, the ones I met when Jack was just a tiny babe? We're still very good friends. We all met for weekly playgroups for several years. We still manage a few playgroup get-togethers, though our children are moving in different directions now. Somehow we manage to find time for each other still. We have each been powerful resources for one another. Simply knowing there were others close by that were going through the same things I was going through gave me a great deal of strength to survive some very tough days.

I've mentioned a company called Parenting Power on my blog before. These professionals have offered me invaluable advice when I needed it most. Very empowering. It helps to put the problem in perspective, remove blame from the situation, and quickly move to a workable solution. If you can find an organization like this one in your area, I say, Take advantage of it! Motherhood is at the same time highly rewarding and potentially very stressful. Anything that helps to tip the balance toward the benefits of the rewards and away from the stress of the trials is an investment well made, in my opinion.

10) My final tip to you, new mom, is to love yourself. You will spend most of your time worrying if you are doing the right thing, caring for your family and doing the best you can to care for yourself so that you can continue to care for your family. YOU ARE what they need. YOU ARE who they love. No matter your state. No matter your ability. No matter that all you have to offer your child today is celery and a hunk of cheese. Tomorrow is another day. Do the best you can with what you have today. You love your family. YOU ARE part of that family. Love yourself.

Please know that there is no right way to raise a child. There is only what feels right to you. Educate yourself, yes. Seek advice from friends who have been there, YES! Then, decide what is best for your family.

Be okay.

Everything will be okay.

xo

Me

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Guess Where I Am?

Good morning moms, dads and other stalkers! Guess where I am? 

Have you ever quietly abandoned your task in the kitchen and tiptoed past your happily playing child just so that you could go to the bathroom by yourself?

Did it work?

Most of the time, it doesn’t work for me. My child has dog-like hearing and eyes in the back of his head (wasn’t I supposed to develop those after becoming a mom?).

But today, it worked! And here I am… writing this post, checking my mail, breathing deeply. Ahh. I can hear my happy child singing and playing. It’s fabulous. I highly recommend spending secret time away from your child, within earshot.

He’s fine. He’s Happy. No need to feel guilty. So why is that I do?

Partly it’s because my child is currently waiting for me to finish my kitchen task so I can play dinosaurs with him. Partly it’s because I’m a mom and it comes with the territory.

Do I feel ridiculous sitting in the bathroom typing on my laptop (just so you’re not repulsed by the wrong image, I am sitting on a stool… not ‘the throne’)? Ya, a little.

Ideally I would have the fortitude to write while my son is tugging at my clothes and begging me – admist screams and stomps - to play with him. Or, alternatively, I would have the ability to say ‘no’ and that utterance would have the desired effect.

Oh well. This works too.

“Maaaaaaahm! Where arrrrrre you?”

I’ve been discovered.

“I’m in the baaaathroom. Be right therrrrre!”

Well, I feel refreshed. Time to be enthusiastic about dinosaurs. Rawr!

Have a fantastic Friday!

The Versatile Blogger Awards: And the awards go to...

The talented and refreshingly honest Rachel of Cool Bean Mommas recently awarded me The Versatile Blogger award! Nice, huh? And then, a few days later, I received the award from a new bloggy-buddy, Beth of Far From Camelot! Thank-you so much ladies! I am honoured.

 So, what IS a versatile blogger? Well, if variety is the key, then I guess I qualify. Here at Cookie's Chronicles I write about parenting, home life, food, knitting, writing and whatever else suits my various moods. At Cookie's Book Club, I indulge my passion for books with book review and interviews with new and noteworthy authors.

According to tradition, having received the Versatile Blogger Award, I must share 7 things about myself with all of you and then award 10 fabulous new (to me) bloggers the Versatile Blogger Award.

I recently shared 7 things about me after receiving the Stylish Blogger Award.

Here are 7 more things you may not know about me:

1. I have great ideas. I am extremely good at starting new things. In fact, I have approximately 1,746 things on the go at any one time. I'm not the best at finishing things however. If I ever finish just one really great thing and become rich as a result, I shall hire a personal finisher to finish things for me.

2. I don't like blue cheese or anything else that looks and smells like it came from the south end of a north-bound seagull.

3. I'm not sure what my freebie list says about me, but here it is. Join me in a sigh of appreciation for the glory of these fabulous men: Johnny Depp, Daniel Craig, Matthew Fox, Robert Downey Jr, Brad Pitt.

I mean no disrespect to my loving husband by sharing this list. In fact, in the spirit of equality I will now share his freebie list: Charlize Theron, Olivia Wilde, Elle MacPherson, Anne Hathaway, Evangeline Lilly. I actually had to help my husband with his list, and of course his first pick was me, bless him.

4. I despise socks. No, really. The way they twirl around my feet so that the heel is always at the front and the seam is twisted under my toes. The way they hide from each other in the dryer. They're sneaky little devils. The way black and dark blue socks can be paired together when dressing on a dark winter morning and later reveal their embarrassing true colours in the bright light of day. Socks, be warned: If ye are found with a hole, without your partner or in anyway conspiring to undermine the comfort of the foot ye belong to, ye shall be tossed into the trash faster that ye can say Argyle!

5. Water. Jo. Agua. Eau. Wasser. Of all the wonderous liquid substances the world has to offer, WATER is my favourite (Appleton's Jamaican Rum is a close second). However you say it, nothing quenches thirst like water. Nothing soothes an aching body like a hot water bath. The sound of running water is like food for the soul.

6. I love music (I may have alluded to this the last time I shared 7 things about myself). I can't actually imagine life without it. When people ask the desert island question - what three things would I bring to a desert island (assuming I had the foresight to pack them in the unlikely event of an emergency) - music is always the first thing I think of. Books come second. Ideally, I would own a waterproof, solar powered iPad or tablet loaded with all of my favourite songs and the best books of all time. That would leave me with space for two other things: some sort of universal knife that includes a magnifying glass (for starting fires) and fishing line. Interesting that I go to comfort (music and books) first before basic needs.

7. If I have a motto it is this: Life is too short to drive under the speed limit.

And now to pass on the Versatile Blogger Award to 10 fabulous and versatile bloggers who I have come to know and admire.

Here I considered two things when deciding who to pass the award onto. First, I looked at how versatile these bloggers are. These ladies and gents write about many things while still relating it all to their central theme, and they do it well! I also wanted to award it to fabulous new bloggers. As a new blogger myself, receiving this award was fantastic feedback for me. It told me that I was doing something right and inspired me to keep going! To these new bloggers I say, keep up the great work!

1. Bruna of Bees with Honey. We have the same 'friendship motto': "the more, the merrier."

2. Rach of Life with Baby Donut. We both refer to our kids as a dessert item.

3. Kimberly of Mama's Monologues. She's a stay-at-home mom like me with three - yes, I said three - boys!

4. Abby of Mommy Moments with Abby. She runs a daycare and has the best craft and activity ideas to try with your own children!

5. Christine of The Aums. She and I share a love of books, and a desire to pass this love onto our children.

6. Ado of The Momalog. She and I both had to do 'this' without our parents to guide us. I love this line from her bio: "Whenever I get smug and think I’ve figured something out, it all changes…because children keep on growing and in their wake, I do, too." Too true, Ado.

7. Stephanie of Meatless Mouthfuls. I love that she's trying to eat out less, prepare and serve healthy food to her family and pass on a love of cooking and good food to her kids. I'm going to be checking out Stephanie's blog often for tips and great recipes.

8. Marisa Frank. She's a mom of four who works hard to keep herself and her family in good health.

9. Michelle of Mummy Loves Tea. She's crazy about tea. Really that would be enough for me, but she also has a way of making me think about life's deep subjects. I LOVE that.

10. Christina of Spilled Milkshake. She's a mother of six - SIX! - with a chronic illness, and she's sharing her challenges and her triumphs with the world. You're an inspiration to us all, Christina!

Congratulations ladies!

Please pay these ladies a visit and show them how great this mommy blogger community of ours really is. They'd love to hear from you!

Writing Prompt: Not My Mother's Daughter

This post is based on the following writing prompt from Mama Kat’s Pretty Much World Famous Writers Workshop:

Writing Prompt: Not your mother's daughter...how do you parent differently than your mother did? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

She was tired by the time I arrived. Exhausted. Resigned.

She was everything to me, but she was distracted most of the time. Distracted by her pain. There was never an I love you whispered in my ear. I was in the way.

I understand. Not happily married. Not able to pursue a career. Or should I say that this is the life she chose? A victim. A martyr.

She loved me, but she was unable to care. In the end, I was her caregiver. Too young, and unprepared to deal with the disease that would claim her. But I did the best I could. I did what I knew how to do. Not enough, perhaps.

I learned. I grew. Without her.

She is a part of me, an awareness. And I remember the love. I remember her brilliance for though there was always pain, some days she shone bright as the sun. I remember that she did the best she could.

I can do better. I can accept that I am in control of my failures and my successes. I am not a victim. My life is a life I have chosen. Perhaps the life I choose tomorrow will be different, but here I have arrived. Here I am.

I am a different mother than my mother was to me.

I am my son’s tour guide. It is my job to point out the paths and then to let him choose. It is my job to help him assume responsibility for that choice. I look for ways to help him express his individuality, to learn what it is that he enjoys, to make mistakes, to try again and to succeed.

I am sometimes distracted as she was, but mostly I am aware. Thanks to my memory of her. I don’t blame others for my trials. I accept them and so focus on solutions rather than self-pity. I can ask my son for help, remind him to tell me what he needs. We can learn to listen to each other.

Listen. There is so much to hear.

My son will always know that I love him unconditionally. I tell him so every day. He will never go a day without at least one hug and a kiss on the cheek, so long as he wants them.

I am not my mother, but my mother is in me. I am aware. I am better. I am very fortunate and I am grateful. I am who I am because it is who I choose to be. And I am who I am because of who she was.

Thanks mom. I love you.

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This was my first ever writing prompt exercise. Being the relentless gammar freak that I am, it was a challenge for me to write in this style, with some short, incomplete sentences, but I went with it. I followed my heart where it wanted to go, and this was the result.

A night out at the Theatre: Mom's the Word

Picture a mother telling her friend a story. She and her son were having the worst day and she finally broke down in tears. The most amazing thing happened after that. Her son gave her a hug and was an angel the rest of the day. (This reminded me of something I experienced on a bad day with Jack - see The Job of Parenting). Her friend agreed, Oh ya, I use that trick all the time, but you know what works better than tears? Pretend your dead!

I'm paraphrasing from a skit I witnessed last night at Theatre Calgary's Mom's the Word: For Crying Out Loud. If this production comes to your town, you need to go see it. I laughed so hard I cried. Hysterically funny!

The audience roared with laughter, as scene after scene from our own lives were acted out in the funniest ways. One mom described  starting out each day as Mary Poppins and ending up Cruella De Vil. Who has not felt that way some days?

There was a brief skit about the challenge of preparing three meals a day - three different meals a day - three nutritious and different meals a day - every day. I could really relate (see Lunch Should be a Four Letter Word).

Writing humour is not easy and I was surprised at how hilarious this play was. Of course, motherhood is full of funny moments, sometimes tragically so. It was a long play - about 2 hours - but still I wanted more.

There were touching moments too, dealing with such topics as changing relationships with our kids and husbands, and dealing with a diagnosis of breast cancer.

Superbly written, and so well performed. Thanks for the laughs, ladies!

Here's a clip from rehearsals. If you are unable to see the video below, click here to view it on blip.tv.

Happy Mother's Day!

It's Mother's Day, and today I'd like to pay tribute to my own mom and to all mothers. Until we become mothers we can't truly appreciate the jobs our own moms did in raising us. The worries they carried so that we wouldn't have to, the dreams they had for our lives and the efforts they went to for our happiness: All of these things are a greater burden than anyone can imagine... until the burden is ours to bear.

This video sums up the job of motherhood as well as anyone ever could. All I can say after watching it is, "Phew!"


It's all worth it, of course, for those sparkling moments when our child does something nice for someone else or looks up at us and says "I love you, mom." It's the best job there is. Once you become a mother, truly every day is Mother's Day. Our children are always with us. We carry their hopes and fears in our hearts.

It is also the hardest job there is, and it's nice to be honoured on our special day. Most of us are so dog-tired that when asked the question, "What would you like for Mother's Day?" we respond, "Oh, maybe just a nice brunch out with all of you." Truthfully, we'd rather not wait in a line with all of the other exhausted moms and their families for a table in a crowded restaurant and a meal that, while lovely, will take far too long to arrive. But we love our families and we're accustomed to putting their needs above our own. Often we don't think about what we want, and when we do we're reluctant to voice it.

This year, when asked the question, I thought long and hard and then answered as honestly as I could, "Sleep. I just want to sleep the entire day away. I'm not sure I'll even need to eat, but if someone would occasionally bring me some food that would also be nice."

Happy Mother's Day! May you be treated like a queen, or at least not have to clean dirty diapers and walk the dog today.

Dads, kids, assuming you've left it this long to find that perfect gift for mom, fret not. Believe it or not, there's still hope for you. Check out this list of What Mothers REALLY Want on Mother's Day from Cool Bean Mommas. You can also check out this list of popular e-books for mom.

And dads, we know you carry a heavy load too, but today is not your day. Your day is in June, when I shall pay homage to you. Until then, trust that you are appreciated for your part in raising happy and healthy humans. Now be a dear and fetch mama a cocktail.

Great deals to celebrate mom!

This Sunday May 8th is Mother's Day. Celebrate mom by giving her something wonderful to read. Heck, at these prices, you can load up her Kindle for the year! (Don't forget to give her the precious gift of time too, so that she'll be able to enjoy her favourite book.)

Pride and Prejudice

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife." -- Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

Amazon.com Product Description:
When Elizabeth Bennet first meets eligible bachelor Fitzwilliam Darcy, she thinks him arrogant and conceited; he is indifferent to her good looks and lively mind. When she later discovers that Darcy has involved himself in the troubled relationship between his friend Bingley and her beloved sister Jane, she is determined to dislike him more than ever. In the sparkling comedy of manners that follows, Jane Austen shows the folly of judging by first impressions and superbly evokes the friendships, gossip and snobberies of provincial middle-class life.

Also free from Jane Austen through Amazon (for US Customers only) are Persuasion, Sense and Sensibility and Emma. Canadian customers, check Project Gutenberg for free public domain titles.

Click here for more deals on popular books!

May 8, 2011 - Edited to add:  
Even more deals! These prices were too good for me to resist.