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Thursday, June 09, 2011

My Life Without Kids

Today's post was inspired by a writing prompt courtesy of Mama Kat’s Pretty Much World Famous Writers’ Workshop.
Writing Prompt: Describe what you think your life would be like if you had never had kids.
My Life Without Kids

If I had never had a child, what would my life be like? In a word, incomplete.

I can’t say it would have been empty, because I would have filled it with other things. I wouldn’t necessarily have missed it: I wouldn’t have known what I was missing.

My life before kids was long. I had my son late in life, so I’ve had a lot of time to be just me and just a couple. You’d think I would have accomplished more with all that free time!

I never had free time though. I filled it. I was busy.

I am busy still, but my priorities are different.  WAY different.

When I first became a mother, I lamented the number of things I could get done in a day before I had kids. I could run multiple errands in one car trip. I worked, studied, volunteered, socialized, kept the house in relative order and even slept.

I no longer have the time to volunteer my time outside of the home. Now I am a full-time volunteer to a party of one.

Since having a child, I feel like I get nothing done in a day. I look around at the state of chaos my house is in, the pile of letters I need to return, and the bathtub… how I miss the bathtub.

In reality, I accomplish an amazing number of things in a day, including, but not limited to, the following:
Blogging – well, here I am writing! I’ve always wanted to write and now that I am a stay-at-home mom there is just enough time to pursue this a little bit. Thanks to Mama Kat for her inspirations (tired mommies sometimes have the desire but lack inspiration)!

Preparing food – I do it, but I don’t enjoy it (see Lunch should be a four-letter word) and that will never change. I am not much of a homemaker. Sad, but true. When I cook, I do it well. It’s just that I’d rather undergo some uncomfortable form of medical exploration than spend time over a hot stove. I’m not proud of this, but if I am being realistic my skills lie elsewhere… I hope.

Cleaning – blech.

General running of the household – What else can this be called. There are a million little things that fall under this category, including picking up stray socks, cat maintenance (you don’t want to know), cleaning paint off of the kitchen chairs, toy wrangling… You get the idea.

Making sure my son knows he is loved - Hugs. Kisses. More hugs when knees get scraped or scary monsters suddenly appear under the bed. Playing cars and other games that I would sometimes rather not, hour after hour, but do anyway with enthusiasm because it brings the little gaffer joy.

Chauffeur and errand runner – To school, home, to the grocery store, home, to play dates, home, repeat.

And from time to time: party planning, cheerleading, and soccer momming (it’s a new term – run with it).
I still manage to socialize, though admittedly the events are a little different. Before kids I might have gone out for dinner and dancing on my birthday. This year my family and I went to see The Very Hungry Caterpillar at the International Children’s Festival. Party on!

My daily life is just as busy as it was before I had kids. The difference is that, despite how mundane or insignificant my daily tasks may seem, I feel like I have accomplished so much more than in my pre-kid days.

There’s nothing more important or fulfilling than the work of raising a child.

Thank goodness I had the chance to see what life would be like with kids. Just think what I would have missed!

Mama’s Losin’ It

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

May Poll Results:
Whose job is harder, SAHMs/SAHDs or WAHMs/WAHDs?

This month's poll went up a little late, so I'm not sure how representative the numbers are. There's no point in creating a graphic chart to illustrate your votes. Almost 90% of you voted that SAHMs/SAHDs jobs are harder. I'm also a little late getting the results up. You can blame it on my job - we SAHMs are very busy!

Retrieved June 7, 2011 from http://www.momlogic.com/2009/04/stay_at_home_versus_working_mom.php

First, some definitions. For the purposes of this post:

SAHM = stay-at-home mom
SAHD = stay-at-home dad
WAHM = work-away-from-home mom
WAHD = work-away-from-home dad

Other terms like WOHM, work-outside-of-the-home mom, and WOHD, work-outside-of-the-home dad, have also been used. Just to further confuse things, sometimes WAHM and WAHD are used to describe work-at-home moms and dads. I haven't used these terms because they open massive cans of worms like the issue of defining a work-at-home mom or dad only as someone who has a job outside of parenting while being at home with their kids. Some stay-at-home moms and dads would call themselves work-at-home moms and dads since parenting is their job and its definitely work.

Many parents work harder at the job of parenting then they've ever worked at any other job in their lives. It's a double-time (never mind full-time) job with zero pay. (Check out this tool to calculate what mom's paycheck should be!) It's benefits and bonuses come in the form of kisses and hugs.

Retrieved June 7, 2011 from http://mikahaela.wordpress.com/tag/stat-at-home-mom/

According to this highly scientific poll, SAHMs and SAHDs work harder than WAHMs and WHADs. I have worked outside of the home, I have been a stay-at-home mom and a work-AT-home mom (if they are not the same thing). Being a mom is certainly the hardest job I have ever had. It's also the most rewarding job I've ever had.

I have not yet been a work-AWAY-from-home mom, but I imagine, and I hear, that these moms' challenges are significant, and I don't think this highly scientific poll likely represents that group very well. If any of you work-away-from-home moms and dads are reading this, please share your thoughts with us!

One of the things that we stay/work-at-home parents do not have to deal with is any guilt that might come with being away from our kids, and the associated need to make every moment with them precious. Stay-at-home parents may not feel that pressure. I say, may not, because a lot of the time I still do feel that pressure. Stay-at-home parent is a job I want to do exceptionally well, but let's face it: when there are no coffee breaks (let alone pee breaks), no lunch breaks, and eventually no naps, it can be draining and operating at my peak at all times is extremely exhausting if not impossible.

Note that I have a preschooler, so I speak about this job from that perspective. I don't know what being a stay-at-home parent to school-aged children is like. I imagine by the time Jack is in school full-time, I will fill that time with other work and so will be more like a work-away-from-home parent, except that I will likely be working from home... or, as I am doing today, the nearest non-distracting coffee shop.

I care about this job more than any other. The performance pressure is high. The job is highly rewarding, but it's also highly stressful at times - at least, it is for me. How stressful this job is must be as individual as each child, each parent, and each child-parent relationship. In some cases the combination of factors might make for a relatively stress-free stay-at-home experience. In other cases, the challenges may be many.

Ultimately, if there is an answer to this question, to me it comes down to this. We can only know and accept our own challenges and our own choices. They are guaranteed to be different than someone else's. If we criticize another parent for not making the same choice we did, it is because we assume, in myopic fashion, that they face the same set of circumstances and options that we do. Each parent (each child and each parent-child relationship) is unique, so the challenges and choices they are presented with are also going to be unique. A little tolerance and understanding is in order, I think. A little less jumping to the conclusion that we have it harder than others would be helpful. Instead of feeling sorry for ourselves and criticizing others, we could instead open ourselves up and listen to the stories of other parents, maybe even pick up a few tips to use in our own lives.

Retrieved June 7, 2011 from http://www.waystobecomerich.com/tag/work-from-home-dad/

We all love our children more than we are able to express. We have that in common. But our journeys are different.

And now, to lighten the mood, here's is a test to determine whose job is harder. Please take this with a heaping teaspoon of salt. It's funny and it's all in fun. Stay-At-Home vs. Working Parents

As the parent of an only child with various challenges of my own, I have my own story (perhaps I'll share it one day). Read more stories of WAHMs/SAHMs here. 

Here is who I'd like to hear from in order to understand their struggles better: stay-at-home dads, single dads, single moms, moms of multiples, moms with more than one child who work-away-from-home. WHAMs, WAHDs, SAHMs, SAHDs, WOHMs, WOHDs.... whatever you call yourself, will you share your story?

Monday, June 06, 2011

The Case of the Missing Blueberries

Love blueberries? Check out this video. It will change the way you look at your favourite blueberry products.



To learn about the potential hazards of consuming artificial food colours, view this article. Probably best to avoid them.

In the video, Nature's Path cereals are mentioned. We have been eating only their cereals for a few years now, with a few fresh organic berries tossed on top. Nature's Path cereals are of very high quality and in addition to the benefits mentioned in the video - organic ingredients with no artificial flavours or colours - Nature's Path is a non-GMO company (you can learn about GMOs here).

If you're looking for genuine blueberry flavour, why not try... blueberries! Fresh or frozen they pack a powerful antioxidant punch! 

Healthy eating!

Saturday, June 04, 2011

J.D.: The Plot to Steal J.D. Salinger's Manuscripts

Book Review and Interview with Patricia Sierra and John Philpin

Book Review


J.D.: The Plot to Steal J.D. Salinger’s Manuscripts, by Sierra Philpin, is a tale of mystery, intrigue and the consequences of behaving badly. 

Publisher: Feather Tunnel Publishing Co. (February 9, 2009)



Leonard Wellington Worthy, a professor with a wife and a simple life, has a plan to finally win the race to the finish line. The goal is to be the first to publish a book on J.D. Salinger, and he’s going to do it by stealing the manuscripts he believes J.D. has been working on for decades in seclusion. But soon Leonard’s plan begins to unravel and he finds himself a suspect in a murder investigation.
In a mere thirty-six hours my world had been transformed from a stable, predictable tranquility into a Kafkaesque nightmare of flux and phantasm.
Please visit Cookie's Book Club to read the rest of my review and interview with the authors.

Thursday, June 02, 2011

Comfort Food: Cheddar Cheese Potage

Today I'm following another writing prompt offered by Mama Kat.

Prompt: Comfort food at it's finest. Share a family favorite recipe you loved as a child.

I don't know how much 'writing' is involved in this week's prompt, but after reading it I immediately thought of a recipe that I wanted to share with you all. My mother's broccoli cheese soup always made me feel cozy and warm on a cold day. I know it's spring and probably warm where most of you are, but today in Coldland it is cloudy, windy and a little chilly. The perfect day for mom's soothing soup!

Cheddar Cheese Potage

Source: http://friendseat.com/Gluten-Free-Broccoli-Cheese-Soup-Recipe

By: Cookie's Mom's Mama

A very cheesy and delicious soup. Mince the onions very finely if serving to kids. They'll LOVE it!

Total Preparation Time: less than 15 minutes
Actual Cooking Time: 15 to 30 minutes
Number of Servings: 4-6
Special Features: quick to prepare (under 30 minutes), kids love it, can be made ahead

Ingredients
  • 1/2 bunch Broccoli
  • 3 tablespoons Butter
  • 1/4 cup Onion, chopped
  • 4 tsp Chicken bouillon
  • 3 tablespoons Flour
  • 1/2 tsp Paprika
  • 1/2 tsp Dry mustard
  • 2 cups Milk
  • 2 cups Water
  • 2 cups Shredded cheddar cheese

Preparation
  • Steam (cook) broccoli and set aside.
  • Melt butter (or substitute oil) in large pan. Saute onions.
  • Combine dry ingredients in mixing bowl. Gradually add and blend in milk and water.
  • Add to pot and cook over medium heat, stirring constantly until soup boils and thickens.
  • Remove from heat and stir in cheese to melt. Stir in broccoli and serve. Garnish with a spoonful of grated cheese.

Cook's Notes

You can even use skim milk (or other milk such as rice or almond) to reduce the fat in this recipe, since it's so rich and cheesy! If you want to replace the chicken bouillon, use 2 cups of chicken stock instead of the water, and salt to taste.

Serve with crusty rolls and butter. Mmm.... soothing and delicious!

Enjoy!

Mama’s Losin’ It