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Thursday, September 22, 2011

Nose Flick Thursday:
The First, and Possibly Only, Edition

I'm never participated in Throat Punch Thursday before. It's not that I haven't felt the urge. I try to maintain a sort of peaceful atmosphere here at Cookie's Chronicles, but I think you'll agree that the people responsible for this atrocity deserve at least a nose flick (the throat punch may just be a little to aggressive for me). I bring you the first, and possibly only, edition of Nose Flick Thursday. (You see why this may be the only edition - not much of a ring to it.)

One day last week I was sitting in a coffee shop - a lovely urban coffee shop - having a lovely London Fog, working on my next book review.

I was enjoying a peaceful few moments to myself while Jack was a preschool when within minutes the lovely urban coffee shop was converted to a hunting lodge with the addition of a young deer's head.

A man and a woman walked in carrying tools and the deer head under an arm (quite a sight) and very quickly replaced a lovely painting that hung over the fireplace with the deer head.

One minute I was sipping warm, sweet goodness, enjoying the relaxed, sophisticated atmosphere, and the next I was picturing Bambi being shot, his head chopped off and then mounted on a plaque.

The couple that hung the head turned to me and gleefully asked, "What do you think?"

So.... I told them. I said, "I don't like it so much, actually. I prefer the abstract painting that used to hang there."

The woman said, "Oh, don't worry. We'll hang the painting somewhere else."

Then, I just had to add, "Why did you hang Bambi on the fireplace?"

The woman laughed and said, "That's not Bambi!" The man said, "I didn't kill it or anything. It was a gift."

"Yes, but the mind goes there," I said. "I was just sitting here feeling very peaceful," a state not easily achieved in Mommydom, "and now all I can think about is death."

I don't think they quite knew what to make of my bluntness. As it happened it was time for me to leave, so I punctuated my argument by packing up and walking out the door. Still makes me laugh to think about it.

You should see this thing. In fact, I need to get a photo. (Yes, it's still there.) Only I don't know how to do it inconspicuously. It's horns have been replaced by two rainbow coloured corns. Tacky does not begin to describe this thing.

Just picture this:

With two of these on it's head:

I have no idea what these people were thinking hanging this on the wall.

This deserves a nose flick if ever a nose flick was deserved.

But wait! There's more.

It's for sale! That's right. For the low, low price of $700, you can own this ridiculously embellished reminder of what once was a beautiful woodland creature.


I no longer think of death when I go to this coffee shop (I also no longer sit near the fireplace). Instead, I laugh at how little control I have over my environment. We all want a place to relax and feel at peace. If we're lucky, we'll find moments where the stars align and we get what we want. We should appreciate these moments deeply, because anything can happen at any moment to interrupt our state of bliss. A rainbow-corned Deer can happen to anyone at any time!

I hope you have a peaceful, no need to flick anyone in the nose, rainbow-corned-deer-free day!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


The rainbow-corned deer did not sell. Shocking, I know. I asked the lady in charge of the art selections for the coffee shop what happened to it. She said it was returned to the artist and hangs in his home. She then went on to say, "It was just going to go in the garbage! I think it's pretty cool that he took something that would have been thrown out and turned it into art!"

Know what I think? I'm pretty sure you do. I'm not so impressed that the artist took a dead deer head and stuck two tacky rainbow coloured corns on it. I'm even less impressed that he chose to list his reclaimed garbage for $700.

P.S. You wouldn't believe what they replaced it with! Check out what's now hanging over the fireplace. I apologize for the lousy quality of this image (I'm no good with phone cameras, and I was trying to be inconspicious - pretending to take a picture of my son and his friend). I'm not sure a higher quality image would make any more sense of this piece of 'art'.
I didn't stick around long enough for them to hang a plaque showing the price and name of the piece - one can only imagine. For the time being I have nicknamed it "Mardi Gras Wedding" (aka "Utter Chaos").

Sigh. What are people thinking?


Couldn't resist. Had to get an up close photo. Happened to have my SLR camera with me today. Turned some heads taking these photos.

"Untitled" Sculpture Abstraction -2008 - Mixed Media - 1000.00

I blew up a section of it so you can see just how crazy this thing is. I'm seeing a tiny plastic rake, some baseboard and a lifesaver.

I think my nickname, Mardi Gras Wedding describes it pretty well. What makes me laugh, in addition to the asking price, is the year of the piece: 2008. The artist has been carrying this thing around since then... perhaps adding to it on a regular basis.

If he only knew how I have been mocking him.

But, I tell you what. If this thing sells, I am going to start taking Jack's collages more seriously. And I'm not above dumpster diving if it's going to provide this kind of income!


  1. The last line had me cracking up. I guess yes - a rainbowcorned deer can happen to me at any time! I can't believe that they kept it up even after your comment and that they are trying to sell it for $700...that's crazy!

  2. Barbara, they may not have taken me seriously. I was horrified and amused at the same time.

  3. Hahaha!! Why on earth would they put the rainbow corns there? I'm proud of you for speaking your mind!! Good job, and $700??!! That is insane!

  4. They'd get better results if they put it on ebay to sell! So the person that gave it to them is going to walk in one day and be ticked that they're trying to sell it. Don't worry, I think the painting you like will be back soon! BTW, I love the thought of Nose Flick Thursday! ;)

  5. Jen, I have no idea why they put the rainbow corns on there. I laugh imagining someone paying the $700 to hang it on their own wall, and I laugh picturing their guests fawning (sorry - couldn't resist the pun) over it.

  6. Thanks Beth. I sure hope you're right! In the meantime, I just have to look away. That thing's eyes are following me!

  7. ~Sigh~…..My DH is a hunter, I can’t change that. But I did draw the line and said I wouldn’t have a deer head hanging in the front room. So, sadly, I have the skull and antlers hanging there instead. He was so proud of the job he had done; he cleaned, bleached and mounted the skull and antlers himself. Oh the compromised we make! I decided if I had to look at the bones all year round he could tolerate me hanging Christmas ornaments from the antlers for a season! He wasn’t happy about that, but has accepted it. At least I haven’t hung garland from the antlers.


  8. 700 bucks?? You have to let us know if they ever sell it!!!

  9. I would not have been impressed with a dead animal hanging on the wall where I find peace in sipping a warm cup of coffee. Good for you for being honest!

  10. Hopefully your words, and then actions, resonated with them.
    Who on earth is going to purchase a dear head with two unicorn horns?
    I would just take a picture of it... walk right up and take it.
    But i do stuff like that.

  11. Wow, I am just so amazed they would hang such a horrible thing in such a peaceful environment! And trying to sell it for $700 - insane!! Good for you letting them know your thoughts!

  12. Maybe you could start a collection up with other coffee drinkers and buy the deer. He might be donated to a rainbow deer sanctuary.

  13. @Linda, I can now imagine that thing with Christmas decorations hanging it from it. Thanks! ;)

    @Minivan Mama, I sure will!

    @Bruna, thanks. :) Not that it did anything to deter them from hanging the poor thing there anyway....

    @Leighann, I still may do that. It's just one of the craziest looking things I've seen.

    @Christina, I don't get it either.... but it takes all kinds!

    @JDaniel's Mom, that is SUCH a good idea. "Rainbow deer sanctuary" - ha!

  14. I'm not sure the new piece is any better.

  15. Well, at least I don't think of death when I see it, as I did with Bambi. This one kind of makes me want to declutter my home.

  16. Ha! Thanks for the update!! I'm so glad they took down the deer head, but I'm thinking they don't have great taste in art...AT ALL!! You are funny, trying to be all secretive with your phone camera ;)

  17. I'm like some kind of spy! I could get used to the thrill. :)

  18. Ok so to get this right. He took a deer head out of the garbage, added rainbow corns, called it art and asked $700 for it. Then when nobody bought he took it back and hung his rubbish up in the living room? That is the ultimate recycler...
    I believe that coffee shop ows you a year worth of free coffee for emotional distress.

  19. Stasha, I was thinking the same thing! ;)

  20. Oh my gosh...this is just crazy. My one year old could create better "art" than that! I definitely think you could be a spy ;)

  21. I'm pretty sure we could find stuff around the house that would be worth at least $1250.

  22. OMG... it looks like he just took a bunch of dollar store junk and smacked it on there with craft glue!