They couldn't find your body, they said.
No closure.
No goodbye.
I imagined that you escaped a life you didn't want to live. Planned your own death.
You thought the world was cruel. Too cruel to bring another human being into.
You lived every moment of your life in the fast lane. As if it would be your last.
Your need for speed is what killed you.
If it killed you.
I imagine you still on a deserted island. Living a life of solitude. Not even attempting to be rescued.
I don't know why.
Perhaps it's easier than accepting that you are gone.
So young. So much life in you when you left us.
Better to imagine you the king of a new world. Finally at peace? Or do you still tempt fate and defy death?
I sometimes wonder how it is that our lives became entwined. Was there some lesson for all of us in you.
My life was - is - richer for having you in it. Even if just a while.
You died too young, but that is how you will always be remembered.
Vital. Unrestrained. Strong. Proud.
A good friend.
I want you to know that your light shines still through those whose lives you touched. None of us as bright as you, but together in us you live on.
Wherever you are, may peace be with you, my dear friend.
Never goodbye, for you are always with me.
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This post was written in support of The Golden Sky Blogfest. Our task was to write about the loss of someone in our lives. I have lost many someones in my life. It felt good to write about 'G'. Not having closure made his death difficult. The other someones would be far more difficult for me to write about, and, though it's now been, in some cases, many years since they have passed, I'm just not ready. I am grateful to Elisabeth (author of The Golden Sky) for bringing us together in this way to remember, perhaps to grieve and to support one another.
I recently reviewed The Golden Sky and hosted a giveaway where two lucky winners each won a copy of Elisabeth's raw and emotional memoir. You can view that post here.
And as of today, you can enter to win an iPad2:
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I'm also linking up with:
This post gave me chills. I'm sorry for the loss of G.
ReplyDeletePowerful tribute. It also gave me chills.
ReplyDeleteI wish I'd known about the blogfest before today, but I'm enjoying reading the tributes.
Wow.His life, though short as it may have seemed, felt so rich in your words. Love it...
ReplyDeleteWhat an emotional post! I'm so sorry for your loss!
ReplyDeletethat was absolutely beautiful!
ReplyDeleteThis has been a therapeutic experience writing in conjunction with the Blogfest, as I not only get to express my soul of my lost one; but also draw strength from so many other amazing writers/bloggers!
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This was both beautiful and heartbreaking to read. I hope writing it gave you a small measure of peace, which is perhaps the only kind of peace that will ever be found in situations such as the kind these words recalled for me.
ReplyDeleteThat was beautiful
ReplyDeleteSo beautifully written. I hope G is at peace.
ReplyDeletePowerful and moving. May you find the comfort and closure you need.
ReplyDeleteYou write this post with so much emotion. I hope you found a way to let 'G' go. May he rest in peace.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for the loss of G. An emotional post:(
ReplyDeleteSuch beautiful words ... you make me think back. There are words I have inside of a life lost too soon, but I just cannot put them out for the world too see.
ReplyDeleteMaybe one day ...
but this, this was lovely.
Thank-you all for your kind comments. Yes, it was therapeutic for me to write this. It's been many years since my friend G died so suddenly. The memory of this event and the emotions attached to it, are still palpable, but the pain has lessened over the years. I do hope that he is at peace now.
ReplyDeleteThe way you write this from deep within is so moving, Sue. I hope it helped with your healing.
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautiful and touching tribute to your friend. I'm glad he's always with you.
ReplyDeleteYou are such a gifted writer. I hung onto every word. Very powerful. Thank you for this.
ReplyDeleteSorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteThis was such Beautiful tribute to your friend.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Beautiful writing.
ReplyDeleteWow, that's an incredible post. Thank you for visiting my blog today.
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautiful post. I'm very sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteThanks Christine. Yes, it was helpful, actually.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jacqui. I'm glad he's with me too!
Elisabeth, thank-you so much for that compliment and for the opportunity to join you for The Golden Sun Blogfest. It was quite a success! So happy for you.
Thanks again everyone for your kind comments. It did feel good to write this tribute. I lost my friend 'G' as a young adult and never really stopped to write about it until now.
ReplyDeleteThat was a beautiful post. Though I have been lucky in my life not to have lost too many close to me, the few I have lost are still difficult to think about, let alone write about. I was captivated the second I read the first sentence. Really. I am going to get Elisabeth's book, but I have to wait until I am emotionally stable enough to read it. We almost lost our younger son as an infant last year, and I'm not sure I'm ready.
ReplyDeleteLaura, my goodness, I'm sorry you had such a scare. Don't feel rushed to read Elisabeth's book. You'll appreciate it when you're ready. Maybe that will be tomorrow - maybe it will be years. I'm glad you still have your son with you!
ReplyDeleteLoss without resolution or closure is horribly painful :( Your words are so lovely and heart-felt. So emotive... Thanks for this.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful tribute.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss. That was a beautiful tribute.
ReplyDeleteYou have written this beautifully.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss.
Writing about people we love brings them closer. Lovely tribute & I hope you're sharing it with others who loved G., too. And beautiful photo, too.
ReplyDeleteThank-you all so much for your comments. I wrote this in my journal one night, just scribbling, trying to figure out what and who to write about for The Golden Sky Blogfest. I was warming up to writing about some of the more emotional losses... and then just went with this. I'm glad if it touched some of you. I truly appreciate your feedback and your kind words.
ReplyDelete