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Sunday, November 20, 2011

Ten Reasons You Haven't Seen Much of Me Lately

It's time once again for Monday Listicles with NorthWest Mommy.

This week, the sweet and loveable Jennifer of Just Jennifer asks us to list 10 reasons why we do or do not want more children. While I hate to disappoint the sweet and loveable Jennifer, I can't come up with 10 reasons. There's just one that matters. We are very fortunate to have the beautiful family that we have. More kids are not part of our story. And besides, why mess with perfection?

Instead, I will list the 10 reasons I have not been around much this week (e.g. tweeting, linking and so on), in no sensical order.

1) Life has gotten ultra busy of late. Not that I was low-maintenance before, but since beginning this new detox/cleanse/self-torture regime, I have had to find a whack more time to look after my own needs. What's a whack, you ask? It's a butt-load. What's a butt-load, you ask? My son did, and here is what I told him. "Oh, did I say butt-load? Ha ha. That's funny. I meant to say boat-load. It's a LOT. As in, as much as you can fit in a boat!" I guess I managed my way out of that one. Then I wondered, why DO I use the phrase 'butt-load'? It's sounds pretty rude. But then I looked it up, and a 'butt' is a legitimate unit of measure equal to 126 gallons or two hogs heads. But I digress... significantly!

2) My son needs me. Sure he needs to learn independence, and no it's not necessary that I entertain him every minute of the day. Then again, he's only home with me like this for another year and a bit, so I'd like to be available as much as I can.

3) And besides, some of the stuff he's interested in now is pretty fun. We've been doing a lot of crafting, which I have missed terribly these last few busy years!

4) Snow! We have a whack of it. What's a whack, you ask? See #1. All of that shoveling, footprint making, snowball throwing, dressing in extra layers (and then undressing to go pee and pulling it all back on again) takes a butt-load of time. But we're having fun!

5) I've been trying to make more time for our little family in general. Little things like eating a leisurely breakfast together on a Saturday, instead of me wolfing down my food and then retiring to the computer to blog, sure go a long way to restore a sense of unity around here!

6) Jack had a VIP day at his preschool this past week. That meant I had the pleasure and priviledge of bringing a snack for 24 kids! Really, it's a pretty sweet deal. Lots of work the day before his VIP day, and then I get to kick back and let someone else feed my kid for the next 23 days. I also get to go and hang out at the school, see what my son is actually doing there, and laugh when he answers the teacher's question about the weather with, "Miss Laurie, you need to put the cap back on the marker or it will dry out!"

7) I'm trying to find new and exciting ways to meet the requirements of my ridiculously restricted diet. Okay, exciting is overly optimistic. I'm just happy if it tastes good and is not the same thing I have eaten for six days in a row. The good news is that I have discovered a number of recipes that are so tasty, I will fold them into my diet going forward.

8) I dyed my hair. I may be scraping the bottom of the barrel with #8, but I knew you'd all want to know. I'm now a brunette. In case that offends anyone, not to worry. I will, as is my natural tendency, become bored of this eventually and highlight my way back to blondness! Speaking of hair, I met a woman yesterday who claims to be on the same diet that I am. Not possible. She was far too jovial. Anyway, she said, "I feel so great! My hair and my skin look fabulous!" I said, flipping my hair back, "Ya, great hair, fabulous skin. Blah, blah, blah! Give me some cheesecake!" And then I laughed, as if kidding, and she laughed along with me. But I'm not. Kidding, that is. Sorry to digress... again.

9) How to say this delicately... You know how when your diet changes, other... er... bodily functions change too? Well, I have been spending a bit more time in that place where those things happen. Nuff said, I most desperately hope. I love that we moms can talk about ANYTHING. By the way, this list item was suggested by my loving husband. He's such a romantic.

10) Hubby bought The Bourne Trilogy on Blu-Ray, and I have to say, those are some mighty-fine flicks! That Matt Damon is one talented actor. That and a full PVR and you can see why I have no spare time. What time I do have beyond all of this goes to reading - it's an obsession - and maintaining my book blog. Speaking of which - sorry to both digress and shamelessly plug - be sure to check out Cookie's Book Club for my new interview with Donna Fasano. Donna is giving away three copies of her newest release, His Wife for a While!


  1. Oh I cannot wait for number 10. I realized it is fun to go to sleep before 3AM lately so I have been going down your path too. Love this list and my favorite is when you digress like in #1. I always learn the most bizzare useful facts :)

  2. Good to hear you're doing well and finding balance with the blog. I had to laugh at #8 :)

  3. Thanks Stasha. I do have a tendency to digress, though I usually have a tendency to suppress my digressions. Not today though! :)

    Thanks Jen. Can't say I have found a balance yet - it's more of a shuffling of the impossibly long priority list - but it felt good to free up some time for the family this week, for sure.

  4. I love that you're busy LIVING.

    That? Is good!


  5. Those are 10 VERY GOOD reasons to be offline less!

  6. Excellent reasons to spend less time online!

  7. Great! I've learnt some new terms today - whack and butt-load! Will be using them more for sure. Looks like you've been having real quality time with your family. Would love to see how you look as a brunette. :)

  8. Bourne is fantastic, right? Apparently the books are nothing like the movies, at least that's what my hubby says.
    Glad to read life is filled with more the blogosphere. Sounds like a great life to me!

  9. You may have given an off-topic list, but you still answered my question, so that's cool!

    I love the Bourne movies! Playing in the snow is a great reason to not be on the computer too. And, your digressions were great. I've heard, and say, butt load, but I've never heard whack. Except in the "crack is whack" way.

  10. Taking time out for yourself is a perfect excuse. If we don't actually live how on earth can we find anything to write about?

    I've been known to fall off the blogosphere when catching up my DVR as well. :)

  11. I'm glad you had such good reasons for not being around as much. Well, except for the diet and the hanging out in the bathroom stuff...those don't sound as good as the rest.

  12. I'm all for moms who ditch their blog-time in favor of real face-time with their kids and family. (-:
    Sorry for the bodily function er - stuff - you're experiencing but all for a good cause. (-:

  13. Great list! Isn't it fun to go see what the kids are doing in school? I have so much fun volunteering in my daughter's preschool class. And I LOVE his marker cap comment! Ha!

  14. I'm dying to see your new hair color!

    Also, I'm trying to make a point of spending more time being *with* Li'l D in the evenings--not 80% with him and 20% turned toward the computer--as well as spending much more time offline for shabbat. I failed hard last weekend, but I've been doing better overall, and it feels great. :)

  15. Thanks Galit! :) Living IS good. Breathing is pretty awesome too!

    Thanks Alison. I knew you'd understand.

    Thanks Amanda. Of course, I miss you all when I'm away. Time to get back to the lab and work on my clone! ;)

    G, I am always happy to provide useful new terms, especially with the holidays and holiday parties coming. You'll turn some heads with these ones! :)

    Jackie, I haven't read the books, but since they don't include full-spectrum images of Matt Damon, I'll probably never read them. ;)

    Jen, I may be the only one who uses whack in that way - hard to say. :) It's a worthy topic - I'm glad you liked how I chose to answer it.

    Marina, that is so true. The more I stay away from the computer, it seems, the more I have to write about.

    Jacqui, thanks. No... those things were not so awesome, but still I enjoyed the break!

    Ado, that's what they tell me so I'm trusting 'them'. Short term pain, long term gain, yes?

    Greta, I am all smiles and giggles when I get to go to school with my son. I think I may be having more fun than anyone else.

    Deb, I'll try to get some photos at some point - difficult when I'm always the one behind the camera! Glad you are finding some balance too - it's a struggle, but, as you say, it feels great.

  16. Time with family is the best reason to stay away!!

  17. I learned something new today! Thank you!!! I always say "butt load" all the time, and now I know what it really means.

  18. Okay... so I took the liberty of looking up your word "whack" on Urban Dictionary and this is what I found...

    1. adj: An idea or concept that is outrageous or crazy.

    2. verb; To assassinate another "mo-fo".

    3. adj; crazy, ridiculous

    4. verb; to masturbate.

    So, with that said... If it were me attempting that diet I'd turn into a total Whack (#3-Adj; crazy) because those types of diets never sit well with me and make me wanna Whack (#2-Verb; assassinate) anyone who even looks at me weird. Therefore, I think those type of diets are Whack (#1-Adj; outrageous) and takes an extremely strong person to push through and successfully complete a diet of that nature. Kudos to you & Best of luck! I'll be rooting for you!
    Oh, and sorry I couldn’t find a way to fit the #4 definition into my comment.

  19. LOL-Mommy2Cents! That sums it up, all right!

    "...sorry I couldn’t find a way to fit the #4 definition into my comment." Ah... that's ok. Really. :P

  20. Thanks Barbara. That's what I figure too!

    Madge, I was happy to finally know what it meant too! Funny how we often just say things without thinking about why.

  21. I know what you mean! Life is happening all around and it's hard to keep up with that and this. Right now, Dude #3 and I are sharing lunch (he insists on eating from the same bowl as me) while I check out some blogs I've been meaning to explore. He is sorta getting into it too thanks to everyone with interesting photos n their pages!

  22. DM, thanks for stopping by. Tell Dude #3 I apologize for the lack of images in this post. I shall do better next time! :)

  23. Such a fun list... I liked finding out what's happening in your world!

  24. Hope this diet gets you feeling better!!

  25. Thanks Jamie. You're a sweetie!

    Leighann, slowly but Shirley... I mean surely! :)