Ten Reasons You Haven't Seen Much of Me Lately

It's time once again for Monday Listicles with NorthWest Mommy.

This week, the sweet and loveable Jennifer of Just Jennifer asks us to list 10 reasons why we do or do not want more children. While I hate to disappoint the sweet and loveable Jennifer, I can't come up with 10 reasons. There's just one that matters. We are very fortunate to have the beautiful family that we have. More kids are not part of our story. And besides, why mess with perfection?

Instead, I will list the 10 reasons I have not been around much this week (e.g. tweeting, linking and so on), in no sensical order.

1) Life has gotten ultra busy of late. Not that I was low-maintenance before, but since beginning this new detox/cleanse/self-torture regime, I have had to find a whack more time to look after my own needs. What's a whack, you ask? It's a butt-load. What's a butt-load, you ask? My son did, and here is what I told him. "Oh, did I say butt-load? Ha ha. That's funny. I meant to say boat-load. It's a LOT. As in, as much as you can fit in a boat!" I guess I managed my way out of that one. Then I wondered, why DO I use the phrase 'butt-load'? It's sounds pretty rude. But then I looked it up, and a 'butt' is a legitimate unit of measure equal to 126 gallons or two hogs heads. But I digress... significantly!

2) My son needs me. Sure he needs to learn independence, and no it's not necessary that I entertain him every minute of the day. Then again, he's only home with me like this for another year and a bit, so I'd like to be available as much as I can.

3) And besides, some of the stuff he's interested in now is pretty fun. We've been doing a lot of crafting, which I have missed terribly these last few busy years!

4) Snow! We have a whack of it. What's a whack, you ask? See #1. All of that shoveling, footprint making, snowball throwing, dressing in extra layers (and then undressing to go pee and pulling it all back on again) takes a butt-load of time. But we're having fun!

5) I've been trying to make more time for our little family in general. Little things like eating a leisurely breakfast together on a Saturday, instead of me wolfing down my food and then retiring to the computer to blog, sure go a long way to restore a sense of unity around here!

6) Jack had a VIP day at his preschool this past week. That meant I had the pleasure and priviledge of bringing a snack for 24 kids! Really, it's a pretty sweet deal. Lots of work the day before his VIP day, and then I get to kick back and let someone else feed my kid for the next 23 days. I also get to go and hang out at the school, see what my son is actually doing there, and laugh when he answers the teacher's question about the weather with, "Miss Laurie, you need to put the cap back on the marker or it will dry out!"

7) I'm trying to find new and exciting ways to meet the requirements of my ridiculously restricted diet. Okay, exciting is overly optimistic. I'm just happy if it tastes good and is not the same thing I have eaten for six days in a row. The good news is that I have discovered a number of recipes that are so tasty, I will fold them into my diet going forward.

8) I dyed my hair. I may be scraping the bottom of the barrel with #8, but I knew you'd all want to know. I'm now a brunette. In case that offends anyone, not to worry. I will, as is my natural tendency, become bored of this eventually and highlight my way back to blondness! Speaking of hair, I met a woman yesterday who claims to be on the same diet that I am. Not possible. She was far too jovial. Anyway, she said, "I feel so great! My hair and my skin look fabulous!" I said, flipping my hair back, "Ya, great hair, fabulous skin. Blah, blah, blah! Give me some cheesecake!" And then I laughed, as if kidding, and she laughed along with me. But I'm not. Kidding, that is. Sorry to digress... again.

9) How to say this delicately... You know how when your diet changes, other... er... bodily functions change too? Well, I have been spending a bit more time in that place where those things happen. Nuff said, I most desperately hope. I love that we moms can talk about ANYTHING. By the way, this list item was suggested by my loving husband. He's such a romantic.

10) Hubby bought The Bourne Trilogy on Blu-Ray, and I have to say, those are some mighty-fine flicks! That Matt Damon is one talented actor. That and a full PVR and you can see why I have no spare time. What time I do have beyond all of this goes to reading - it's an obsession - and maintaining my book blog. Speaking of which - sorry to both digress and shamelessly plug - be sure to check out Cookie's Book Club for my new interview with Donna Fasano. Donna is giving away three copies of her newest release, His Wife for a While!