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Sunday, February 19, 2012

What would I rather do?
Oh... about a million things.

This week's #MondayListicle, hosted by Stasha at NorthWest Mommy, is an absolute breeze for me to write. The topic, suggested by Wendy of Twisted Domestic Goddess, is 10 things I would rather do than clean the house. To be honest, the list of things that I would dislike doing more than cleaning the house would be far, far shorter. I am just not the domestic goddess that Wendy is.

Before I get to my listicle, a reminder:
If you haven't already, be sure to enter my Blogiversary giveaway! I made something special as a token of my gratitude for the support you have all given me during my first year of blogging. And if you own a Kindle or other e-reader, enter the Cookie's Book Club Blogiversary giveaway too!
And now, an un-ode to house cleaning.

1. I would rather play Crazy Eights for three solid hours than clean the house.

2. I would prefer to be arrested, but only temporarily (no jail time, if you please), than clean the house.

3. I would rather be waxed from head to toe than clean the house. Wait! Let me amend that slightly given my hair-vanity. I would rather be waxed from eyebrow to toe than clean the house.

4. If a man came to my door and wanted to talk to me for an hour about Jesus or the organic, free-range chicken he is selling out of the back of his truck, and my pretending to listen and feigning interest would get me out of cleaning the house, I'd do it.

5. I'd rather walk in a blizzard than clean the house. I kid you not.

6. I would rather write a ten page essay on the subject of dryer lint than clean the house. (I would not like to meet the person that would find said essay interesting.)

7. I would much prefer giving a 25 minute speech (you may recall my fear of public speaking) based on my ten page dryer lint essay than clean the house.

8. I'd rather skydive from a very high height than clean the house. Some say I have a fear of heights. Not true. I quite like heights - so majestic - so... high. It's plummeting to my death that I'm not a big fan of.

9. I would rather listen to Kim Kardashian - or some other equally talentless, yet famous, spiritually empty individual - whine about how hard done by she is than clean my house... but just by a hair.

10. Finally, when asked this question, my husband replied, "I would rather jump naked into a vat of pork fat than clean the house."

I did manage to think of a few things that I would rather not do than clean the house, but it was a challenge!

1. I would rather clean the house than eat blue cheese. It's just that disgusting to me!

2. I would rather clean my house than a public bathroom. Well, duh.

3. I would rather suck it up and stop being such a princess and clean the &$%# house than not have the luxury of such a lovely house in the first place.

So there you have it. I think it's clear that I am not a fan of housecleaning, as if that had not already been established.

Thanks Wendy! That was a hoot!

Have a fabulous week everyone!

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Have a list of ten things? Link it up!


  1. You really are a hoot. I laughed so hard trying to imagine you reading outloud you 10 page essay to a group of free range chicken selling Jehovah witnesses. Brilliant my friend, just brilliant!

  2. Awesome list! I'm back and forth with #9 though, I may have to clean rather than listen to Kim or ANY Kardashian whine about anything at all, LOL!

  3. That second list was hard to write, wasn't it? My step-mother, bless her heart, loves to clean. She does it when she's stressed, when she's bored, when she's procrastinating on lord knows what. I admire her, and no way would I have that kind of energy. I'm glad you're normal like me!

  4. Thanks Stasha. I had fun with this one!

  5. Thanks Anna. That one had me debating too. Not a fan of those ladies. Not at all! :)

  6. Erica, I love your step-mother. I will even cook for her if she will come clean my house for me.

  7. I think I love them all, but "I would rather jump into a vat of pork fat than clean" has got to be my favorite.
    You're my kinda girl! (-:

  8. You made me choke on my coffee - Jump naked into a vat of pork fat? Think of the clean up after that one. Sorry but I love blue cheese

  9. Thanks Ado. We have my husband's special brand of humour to thank for that one!

  10. Er... sorry for making you choke, Paul. My husband loves blue cheese too - as do several hundred thousand other people, I imagine - but it makes my skin crawl to think of eating mould.

  11. Wow! And I thought I didn't like cleaning! I hate it when it's time to stop being a princess. Cleaning sucks.

  12. Hilarious! I think the waxing would be painful... But probably less painful than vacuuming! Lol

  13. THAT was a fun list! Really? Kim Kardashian? That one is close. LOL

  14. I never meet anyone else with a blue cheese aversion! I hate that stuff, almost as much as clearning!

  15. Ha ha ha ha! But would you listen to a vacuum cleaner salesman? And blue cheese is gross! Ick!

  16. Wow! You really hate to clean your house, huh? ;)
    P.S. I hate blue cheese too...just gross.

  17. Hear, hear! (Not so sure about the vat of pork fat, though...)

  18. Great post, Sue. Of course you had to point out that we should just be grateful to have a home to clean....sheesh. ;-)

  19. Just so you know, #4 never gets you out of house cleaning. Trust me, I've tried.

  20. Stacey, I agree. I enjoyed princesshood very much!

    Utrend, many painful things are still far less painful than vacuuming to me. :)

    Normal moms, thanks. I know... that one was close!

    Jackie, what is up with people eating mold???

    Audrey, even better! The vacuum cleaner salesman could clean my whole house for me! "Mmm, I'm not quite sure I believe it's as powerful as you say. Maybe just one more demonstration."

    Ya, Jen. I sure do. :)

    Amanda, I'm not so sure about the pork fat. Hubby has a flair for the dramatic at times.

    Jen, thanks. Ya, sorry about that. ;)

    Christine, you may be right. I like Audrey's suggestion. It just might work!

  21. This is so funny. I would rather clean my house than a public bathroom too!

  22. Your list made me laugh out loud. I hear ya on the waxing! LOL

  23. Waxing? WAXING? No effing way. Sorry. Nope, nopers, nosirree. I am a big fat organice free-range chicken when it comes to waxing. In fact, recently ordered a two-piece bathing suit with "boy short" bottoms, so as to deal with that whole...er... bikini line issue. I've got my boundaries and dripping hot wax on myself and then yanking it off? Yeah. That's where the line is.
    : )

  24. Thanks Sara! :)

    Barbara, can you imagine? I have such respect for people who do that job.

    Bruna, at least I'd be primped - if I clean my nails will look even worse!

    LOL Deborah, I wasn't suggesting I would wax MYSELF. Oooh, no. But, I hear you. I too wear the boy short bottoms - I just don't see the point in putting it ALL out there.

  25. Haha!! Jumping naked into a vat of pork fat? That absolutely cracked me up. ;) I think I'll create one for my husband now, just to give him the option. Thanks for the idea!

    1. "Okay, hon. Here are your options. You can clean the house, or you can strip naked and jump into this vat of pork fat." Just picturing the look on his face... LOL